“He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge” -Psalm 91:4
Sanctuary. It has always been my favorite word in English, and one of my favorite concepts. A word that embodies ultimate freedom, peace, and safety. When I think of the word, a little white chapel comes instantly to mind, tucked away in a grassy field, behind a copse of trees. I imagine entering its doors, and can almost feel the coolness and quiet that greets me there. In my mind, it’s a usually humble place but very neatly kept, with tidy white pews and a wood floor. Warm, buttery light spills onto the altar, where a hymnal lies open. Only its brilliant stained-glass windows bespeak splendor and extravagant beauty. This imaginary place feels like a prayer, a prayer made tangible.
This image of a little white chapel has always felt special and sacred to me. When I am stressed or afraid, I often return to that imagined chapel, and the idea brings me peace. I also like to meditate on another favorite image—that of a wildflower meadow or a field, its grasses undulating in the wind. Meadows seem to invite the human experience, their tall grasses beckoning you to lie down and rest, to pick their flowers (if you can resist, then you’re made of stronger stuff than I am), to languidly walk through. Walking through a meadow, this must be what true sanctuary feels like, so gentle and calm. To find sanctuary is to experience a complete absence of fear or striving. Perfect peace.
Even if it’s an illusion, I like the idea of a place that’s totally untainted by fear or lack. We all long for a safe haven, a place where we are wordlessly understood. We’ll never really know that kind of perfection or intimacy this side of heaven, but in certain rare moments we do get a taste of it. Maybe it’s escapist of me to pine after these moments, but a longing for eternity has been placed in every heart, and mine is no exception.
When I began my floral design business Meadow—and this Meadow journal– I created it around this imagery, this idea of sanctuary. I wanted to create a business that, at its very core, stood for this experience of peace, freedom, beauty, and rest. The word serves as a personal reminder to create from a praying place. And the name reminds me to try and offer this experience to others. Whether I’m creating flowers for a bride on her wedding day or a person overcome with grief, I hope that the work of my hands can be used by God to offer beauty and respite. My prayer is that my flowers can give even one person a transporting moment. I hope that these flowers reflect back the beauty and the artistry of the Creator, and the safety and comfort of His embrace.
It’s strange that I have always somewhat linked the two words meadow and sanctuary. Of course, I find sanctuary in nature, and especially wildflower meadows. It’s about what these places have offered my soul: refuge, retreat, freedom, rest, and above all peace in God’s Presence. If I can be anywhere, let it be in a chapel or in a meadow dappled with flowers. And if I cannot be there, let me carry the memory of these places in my heart.
We all, at one time or another, have probably entered into that beautiful state of flow—that other realm—when we are deeply absorbed in some activity or especially held by peace. These moments and are ineffable, I think, because they brush upon against something eternal, something far beyond the constraints of this life. I have felt this blessed feeling most often when I am creating something. You can’t contrive for the flow state to happen—and most creative work is unromantic and disciplined– but when you find it, it’s sublime. It is sort of like walking out of a twisted and complicated tangle of trees into the most beautiful meadow flooded with light and flowers and peace. A better place.
I think of how God places many “sanctuaries” in our lives where we feel most embraced—for some find sanctuary in books, others in the transporting power of music, others in the beauty of the abstract, of astronomy perhaps or math, others in nature. A sanctuary can be a physical place: a studio, a garden, a kitchen, a home. God in His infinite tenderness allows these doors, these portals where we glimpse, however fleetingly, something really splendid. Something bigger than ourselves and our experience. Lost in the bigness of an idea or lost in a state of flow, we feel a gorgeous sense of relief—maybe ‘deliverance’ is not too strong a word. We have all listened to a piece of music so exquisite, or read a poem so striking, that our whole being was elevated. It’s in these moments we can almost insist we heard the rustling of angel wings.
For me, sanctuary is a Person. My creative life is inextricably linked with my faith in Jesus. I know no separation between the two, because I have surrendered my life and myself—my breath and being and choices—to Christ’s sovereignty. And I know that the idea of sanctuary, of peace, is perfected in His faultless, radiant Presence. I have tried life both ways—with and without Him. Without Him, I am absolutely consumed with fear, anxiety, doubt, and dread. With Him, even when I walk through extreme darkness, I carry within me a sanctuary that no one can destroy or take away, a peace that dwells at the core of my being. His Living Presence within me. It never denies the presence of pain or difficulties, but certainly it transcends them.
So my prayer for this journal is that it is a safe and lovely place to go. Perhaps it can offer some reader a fresh touch of beauty or a retreat from something difficult. Maybe it can provide a spark of beauty or inspiration, or a bit of comfort or consolation. We all need somewhere beautiful we can go when we are hurting, and indeed when we are joyful. Maybe this could be one of those spaces. Maybe, not because of me or any manipulation on my part, but because of the God who works in all circumstances and even the humblest places to reach His own.
I’m creating a new Instagram space that is devoted to what happens in this journal. For years now, I’ve been sharing this blog on my personal social media channels. It just feels too, well, personal for me. I don’t know what it is, but I feel sort of shut down while I’m writing and sharing this blog on my personal pages. There’s something so freeing about writing under a pen name, if you will, or when writing for a business. When I write for Meadow Floral (even though I know people know it’s me that’s doing the writing), I feel so much more uninhibited. I’m painfully shy and I live my life so much in my inner world, and there’s just something about presenting these ideas from a page with my name on it– something that goes very much against my nature. I like the idea of a social media space devoted to this blog—to something I have created– and not only to myself.
So from now on, @meadowjournal on Instagam will be connected to this blog. It will, I hope, recreate the feeling, aesthetic, and experience of the journal. My prayer is that it is a visually beautiful space, yes, and also one that offers light and hope. A sense of retreat and beauty and encouragement. I want the words that I write, the images I share, and the things I create to be offered in the service of hope, ministry, beauty, and consolation. I want them to be for you.
Most especially, when I picture this blog and the accounts associated with it, I want it to be an offering. Something sweet and fragrant and pleasing to the Lord. One of my favorite Scriptures pictures Mary Magdalene seated at the feet of Jesus, pouring out a costly oil, a gift that cost likely all she had. I picture her anointing Him with oil and with her tears, giving what she had to give. My prayer is that I can find this posture as often as possible. I also want to give Him something beautiful, something that touches His heart. If, through my words and my creativity, I can offer up a sweet sacrifice to Him, I want to do so. That’s my prayer for Meadow Floral and for this, my Meadow Journal.
I cannot wait to recreate that Meadow feeling in a new Instagram space. To share my heart through inspiring visuals, beautiful colors, artistic flowers, and encouraging words. I hope it touches you somehow. I hope this space can foster community and prayer and unity. And I look forward to seeing how God will use it, for small or great purposes, not because I am capable, but because He is. May Meadow offer a kind of sanctuary, a bit of the peace, grace, and light.
-McKenzie
